Lies

I talk big and I talk dirty
You know what it means
Jack shit
I act like such a bitch and a dominatrix who is kinky all the fucking time
But you know what
All I want is to be held and loved that's all
That is what I want now.
Don't worry we will get back to the kinky soon enough.

Hello World

Hi miss me? I miss me. I don't know what happened. I've been really down and out lately. Nothing phases me. You reject me. Don't want to go out with me? Ok well I will talk to you later. That's it I don't feel anything. I don't feel bad and I'm not mad or anything. It's like it never happened. I feel like nothing has happened to me in a long time. When was the last time I was truly happy? Truly loved? I want to feel someone to feel close to someone but fuck. I just can't. So what do I do? Let's go out and party. I will get drunk and then I will flirt and have fun and not remember or care the next morning. Ok so that isn't entirely true. I remember some of it and I do care. Especially well especially when what I do involves someone else. I don't mean to do anything that hurts anyone else. I just don't have the confidence in myself to stay but I do not want to be that girl. I don't want to just... well I just can't be the girl who sleeps with everyone just to make herself feel better. I want to be me and have someone think that I am wonderful just because of that. AAAHHHH I don't even know. I think I am going to go to bed.